I swear I’m ready to let this go

 

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“I swear I’m ready to let this go,” (by the old gods and the new, LOL)

I had repeated this several times in my head the last few weeks that I was here. So when it was time to leave, I did as quickly as I can.

“Nah! No time for tears, I’ll be back anyway” (for exit interview. LOL) But as I was moving on, I find myself looking back. This is a great place I am deserting, I am happy here.

“But it’s time to fly.”

I went back as I must. It was the same place as I left it, same vibe, same scent, the familiarity haunted me. But one thing was different.

“I do not belong here anymore..”

I couldn’t fight back my tears. For the first time in a long while, I felt alone beyond solace. I didn’t understand why it felt as if a part of me was disintegrated.

“Perhaps it was the comfort, the warmth of what is known and secure that I was uncomfortable letting go.”

It felt as though there were little fragments that was a part of me for while, left me. I went for a walk, the long waiting hours served it’s purpose. Then suddenly, an epiphany. It was as though an angel whispered a reassurance from where it’s from or fairy  sprinkled some pixie dust.

“For whatever made me feel a little broken at that moment, built me. It strengthened my wings and renewed my spirit.”

Yes. I swear I am NOW ready to let this go,” (by the old gods and the new, hihi)

-The Soliloquist

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Once Upon a Time, I Lived Happily Ever After

As a kid,
I believed in fairytales.
In Once Upon a Times
and Happily Ever Afters.

But after I got my knees bruised
And overcome puberty blues
I learned you can’t make good poetry
Without getting your heart abused.

(LOL! Bad poetry. Bad poetry. No wait, this isn’t even poetry. Just finish it, so you can shut it up. 😂😂😂)

But then I grew up,
So it’s Once upon a time,
I handed my heart over
To several wrong people
And that is okay
Because Once upon a time
I learned, I loved, I gave it my all
I fall, I failed, I was on my knees
But it wasn’t the end I know
I cried, I prayed, I still believed
That magic happens, unexpectedly
I got up, I continued despite,
I smiled, I tried
And licked my wounds in silence
I made a note to self
That if Once upon a time,
Handing your heart over
Doesn’t make feel like a princess
That is okay
He may not be your prince yet
And it matters less if he ever come along or find you first or find you at all
Because it is when you know your worth and love yourself first,
That you’d live happily ever after.

-The Soliloquist

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Universal Studios Singapore

November 2015

Window Pane

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Dear, let me tell you..

That life is gonna knock you down real hard. Doors will be shut in your face and it’s gonna hurt you more than it should. You will keep banging that door. Until you realize it will lead you nowhere anymore. And then you’ll turned around, eventually your eyes will ran out of tears and that’s when you can see thru the window. It is definitely more than just a window pane. You’ll see life is beautiful even when shit happens. And that.. There is more to life than closed doors.

-The Soliloquist

-The Soliloquist

Impossible

You broke my young heart.
When you said we’d rather be apart.
How could this be true?
Can anyone give me a clue?

Before, you said you love me so
But having me now is a no
Heartache, I felt inside
Loneliness, I just can’t hide.

I notice you’re now happy
Enjoying life with somebody
You’re heart seem like a steel
Not even minding of what I feel.

And now I’m all alone
Doing things on my own
Trying to forget all about you
Which seems impossible for me to do.

-The Soliloquist

heart
Photo from farm4.staticflickr.com