Note to Self: Buy the Freaking Ear-Blowing Alarm Clock that doesn’t have a snooze option!

You are late! AGAIN!

I know how much you love the fantasies in dreamland. The softness of the pillow in your head that makes you feel like you’re sleeping in the clouds. The cozy air from the miraculous air-conditioner that even you are living in the tropical country it feels like snow is about to fall. The soft blanket that gives you the comfort warmness. Even those are part of your dreams! Your bed isn’t soft at all! Your room smell like your dogs! You are perspiring because the mechanical fan had been turned off or maybe you have not turned it on at all! For sanity’s sake, you know nothing about the freezing temperature in countries with snowfall. Mind on facts darling, you know you can’t sleep on clouds. Not unless you can hug fart! This is planet earth with humans. Not dragonball Z.

Admit it. You are a heavy sleeper. Yeah, that despite all the odds of temperature, location, noise or time, you can fall asleep as soundly as a baby from a stressful labor. You are sleeping beauty without a prince who’ll kiss you awake. That even if you have been awakened several times by 5 different people and 2 dogs, you forcibly open your eyes only to close it again. I pity the phone alarm clock that you have to set 3 hours from your scheduled start time at work only to wake up after snooze give up reminding you to ” Wake Up Princess! This ain’t a fairytale!”

Do something. About you being a procrastinating idiot who thinks you have all the time in the world when you only set 1 lovely hour to prepare yourself. Which essentially includes bathing, applying all the tedious skin meds for your pretty eczema that will need lifetime maintenance, get dressed, breakfast. You set one hour. So manage it!

I am so tired of screaming at you through this text! So I. Will. Calmly. As gently. As. I. Can. Tell. You. To. Do. These. Things. See link below.

FIRST. [Audience. Cover your ears.]

BUY THE FREAKING EAR-BLOWING ALARM CLOCK THAT DOES NOT HAVE THE SNOOZE OPTION!!!!!

Don’t turn your back on me, focus on this 6 Tips On How Not To Be Late, Again.

-The Soliloquist

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2 thoughts on “Note to Self: Buy the Freaking Ear-Blowing Alarm Clock that doesn’t have a snooze option!

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